what do you want from me ?

I am very honest . like very . and like really . just get out if you can't face the truth . If I ever hurt you , it is you who started it.

Hey readers ! no ‘’sastera’’ term for this current entry . bcs I thinkkkk that I wanna share something with you guys . okay lets start . its about RESPECT . how we respect each other . yaa . we’re Malaysian . we live in the same ‘house’ , we live together . we’d meet in the halfway . so then why should we acting like we own this world . we own the things . You don't have to be like really selfish  . Like really . Like seriously . Don't act like you're living in your own world . bcs this is my world too and this is their world too . So don't act like it yours . Just please .  im begging you . At least for once . I'm not askin too much . Only once . Just once . im wondering , why people don’t understand that they should know something better before they conclude what the things really are . i just think that everyone comes with different perception and awareness regarding a matter . so that they cannot accept any opinion from others . maaaaaybe laa . Well maybe just we're coming from different background and yes absolutely , bcs I think it is true . we’re just the same ! will act just the same , all of us , everything about us is the same, they way we talk, the way we walk, the way we treat people . emm yes I admit here not everyone in this world has that kind of behaviour , but mostly we do ! they do !

Yes , im in college now . moving to a new place , to a new environment , new people , and the surrounding are totally different from my root . and its open my mind and eyes about how many people act and care with the society . and I wonder , what other people’s perception on me . I really wanna know . I do change a lot now . like a lot of difference . seriously , I don’t even know me . I don’t even know my self . who are you ? im just trying to push myself to be a good one . change for the better . I just don’t know why . I don’t know what happened to myself . im being too emotional lately . mayyybe im quite depressed . I don’t have any idea . really . its suck . I don't know whats bothering me, it just.. happened. I think I can't adapt to the new surrounding, I tried , many times before but it seems like.. useless . The feeling just get lower and lower . im so tired for doing nothing and let everything mess up and falling apart . to be honest , im losing myself pieces by pieces .

Well , admit it , 95% siswi in college doesn’t like me , and keep lookin’ at me . like there’s something on me and I don’t even know it . what’s that ? when i asked my room mate , they answered “ teha lawa , so tak heran lah kalau ramai perempuan tak suka teha , tak heran lah kalau ramai orang pandang teha . sampai  akak yang jalan sebelah teha ni pun kena tempiasnya , orang duk pandang je . lelaki pun kalau pandang tak lepas . well , dah banyak kali akak nasihat , jangan fikir pandangan orang . jangan fikir apa orang nak kata . abaikan je “ you know what . i still wondering about that answer you answered me . bcs for me , there’s another girl are prettier than me . seriously . like yes seriously . then why me ? just me ? they keep lookin’ at me . so as usually , my boy friends are much many than my girl friends . I don’t know why . but it still being like that . I have too many boy friends . and yet , the girls are keep lookin at me and said “perempuan tu ramai sangat lelaki . gatal gedik agaknya . tenguklah tu , jalan pun dengan lelaki , lelaki mana-mana je panggil dia layan . semua lelaki kenal dia . tak malu ke ?” . and im feelin like -_- what do you want from me !!! I don’t touch you . I don’t even know you . this is my life . so don’t acting like you care so much . bcs I hate it . you keep judging me like we’ve known each other like a years !

I can be friends with just anyone , anyone as long as they want to be friends with me , but now the major problem is , girls don't want to make friends with me . Sadlife huh I have ? sooner or later , I might give them my voice . I am me .

Well fatihah , this is what we called as life . life keeps changing . its you who determine how it gonna be . and perhaps I’ll get a better future . than others who keep judging .

Keep trust this word ,

Fainnamaalyusriyusra .

There is always easeness in every difficulties,

Updated , FH  .